Over the weekend I had an audition. Atypically and inexplicably I got really stressed out about it. I was right for the part, I was prepared . . . what was my problem? The audition went fine. I left and stressed out even more, picking apart the experience.
Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, I, and others have compiled a great deal of evidence challenging this assumption. Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.
(here is the link to the full blog post on the subject)
I had, indeed, been guilty of overthinking both before and after my audition. Not helpful and certainly not conducive to the joy I like to feel (and generally do feel) when I get to participate in my career - in this case, by going on an audition.
It's a good reminder in general. Sometimes I feel like I have to suffer in order to demonstrate to the universe how badly I want/am working towards something. I'm pretty sure the suffering actors aren't the ones getting the parts.