It all started with the interview for the really cool job that I very-nearly-but-then-didn't get. I was asked if I blog. I do, I told them, but not much. I explained that there are *so many* blogs out there, I feel some sense of obligation to *contribute* something if I'm going to blog. I'd like my blog to be a value-add, not just more of the same.
It's a tall order, especially when the blogosphere seems already saturated with every possible blog-type, blog-entry, blog-opinion under the sun.
It occurred to me that maybe I need to lower the bar a bit for what it means to "contribute" or "add value."
I remembered the thing (is it John Cage's thing?) about how you can't create and judge your creation at the same time.
I thought about the blogs that I enjoy reading, mostly written by ladies not unlike myself, and considered that what I enjoy are the writers' voices and then fun little things they bring to me - ideas, photos, gadgets, goofy websites. And I remembered that a decision to blog is not a decision to rise to blog-fame and meet their levels of blog-success.
I thought about how, to act, I need someone else's permission or stamp of approval: I need to be auditioned and cast. But to write, I need only write.
I looked around and noticed that my life is mine to make, shape, create. I noticed that I'm privileged to have a computer, a home, electricity, enough food and free time to be able to blog.
I realized that my baby has been napping for a while now so maybe I'd better hop to it before he wakes up and I miss my chance.
And I noticed how good it feels to say what I have to say - however big or small or serious or silly - instead of keeping it to myself.
I'm not a fan of "oh I've been away from my blog so long, I promise to write more regularly." That's not what this is. This is more of an out loud hope to myself that I make more use of this space for my own pleasure and benefit.