20 minutes. That's how long the boy sat, screaming, in the middle of the sidewalk on a particularly windy side-street late this afternoon. He was unaffected by the cold; unmoved by threats and friendly passersby alike. It took another 15 minutes, a significant amount of dragging, sack-of-potato-carrying, and some heavy (and seriously questionable) negotiations in order to travel the not-quite-three blocks home. Maybe that doesn't sound very long. It was VERY LONG.
(This event feels like the culmination of a week's worth of bad listening, poor attitude, mood swings and epic fussiness. For the love of God I hope he doesn't top this.)
So after bath-dinner-bedtime which included some minor skirmishes and near-miss off-the-deep-ends (all executed solo as the husband is off on an unfortunately-timed business trip), I stumbled foggily out of his bedroom and commenced to stress-eat* my favorite MacGyver'd junk food: the Fake It 'Till You Make It S'more.
Here is what you need: Carrs whole wheat crackers, some chocolate.
Here is what you do: put half a square of chocolate (we had Ghirardelli semi-sweet which has big squares) on a cracker. Eat it in several bites. Repeat.
Try not to repeat too many times or the guilt will undo the soothing qualities of your semi-upscale, improvised, adult s'more-like treat. If you happen to have a marshmallow around, sure, go for it. But it really isn't necessary. In any case, I do not recommend microwaving any part of this food.
That's it. Now, with head cleared and sweet-tooth satisfied you can return to your productive evening. Maybe with a glass of wine. Or two.
Off you go!
*I know. Stress eating is no good. I don't endorse it. I try not to do it. But these things happen. And then I turn lemons into lemonade and use my guilt to propel me to the gym. So it all balances out . . . right?